ugh!!!! stupid fucking koh. ughh!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!! why the bloody fucking hell do you have to cut my hair. and i have to bloody pay 5 bucks to someone who is not even a bloody qualified hairdresser????? NO WAY!!!!!! i rather do it on my own. FUCK!!! PISSIFYING okay????? rarrr!!!!! damn angry. you already fucking hell told me its baby hair, and you still insist i cut? fine. jannah cut for me and you fucking hell say its still short????? AHHHHH!!!!!! and you make me cut fucking short???? what kind of discipline mistress is this??????? argh!!!!!!!!! i really wanna cut your hair too okay???????? just bloody hell eff off man. hate you like shit. i know you don't like me and don't think i like you very much too!!!! fucking ass. can't even teach properly. it bloody hell doesn't even touch my eyebrow anymore and you still insist i cut.ugh!!!! and it's so fucking ugly when i pin up my hair. y can't you just accept the fact that its baby hair and no matter what i do, it just doesn't go up with the pin. ugh!!! its BABY HAIR OKAY????? what the hell do you expect???? and you loody hell stll insist i cut my hair. fine. now its so freaking shot that it stands up. and the bloody fringe looks damn weird now because the two layers are freaking uneven. AHHHHH!!!!!!!!! eff you!!!!! stinking piece of fat shit. no figure, no niceness in you. you're just evill!!!! fucking evil man!!!!!! UUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!! poof. now that it's off my chest, i'll get on with bio rev.

today is ah yi's bdae and dudes' day!! haha. happy bdae ah yi =) i am in hong kong now and shopping is a little sucky. like 10% sucky. but oh wells. haha. at least i bot something. haha. i made a card for dude. haha. walau. bluff me say he never take. haha. but i know he loves it =) kell and i slipped the cards through the door of their rooms. haha. i even told her. coz we were laughing all the way, that if she was a secret agent, 1st mission will lose the job already. neh!!!! OH!!! and the bungs here are so hot!!! haha. at least can make it luh. not like those in singapore. and the guys her carry handbags. like burberry. etc. haha. and the dresscode here...omg. i'm feeling damn out of place. haha. coz it's like so jappy. haha. tmr, we are going to macau. speedy boat ride for 1 hour. hope it will be fun though =) oh. , anyways. if i stayed in hk, haha. i might turn crooked. haha. the bungs here are so irresistable. haha. oopsie =) esp the one at the bangle shop =) muahhahahahaha. Happy bdae ah yi. Happy fathers' day every dude!!! haha

i just viewed mizi's profile. gosh. i really miss them. and its like when i see them putting their class gathering on friendster. cant help but feel jealous. oopsie. but yea. =) i know i shouldnt feel like that. but can't help it. haha. i really miss those guys. they changed a lot. really really a lot. haha. n i just gave jackie her bdae present. she lurves it. haha. that's good for me =) i miss them!!!! ugh! dont really like those guys in st margs. not like don't like but just not used to their way of life i guess. but no matter what, at least i have a true, best friend, a cool and cranky 'sister'.... thanks kell =)

fuck u! dont anyhow accuse me okay!!! think what. just because u are my elder does not mean u can do that. did not really believe what mom said about u. but after yest, my opinion of u have changed ever since. just because ur son is the precious n only pillar of ur life, it does not mean u can throw ur weight anywhere u like. no respect for anybody man. even the closest one to you also gets this kind of attitude. fuck! no self respect, no respect for others, what the fuck are u born into this world for???? ugh! oh n ur son, tell him to fuck off to. sensitive brat. I HATE YOU!!!!!!! you dont get the facts right, neither did you ask for my side of the story. but to the hell with that. i tried to clarify, but fuck it. i dont have any respect for u anymore. just FUCK OFF!!!! AHHHH!!! hate u to the core!!! AA said i looked sloppy, look dead and i need to make a lot of effort to walk. like wth! what's his prob anyway. do i need to change my look to suit what he wants to see? ugh! what the hell is the world coming to??? he's always giving me those weird talks and thinking that i have a serious porblem with myself. i have a hunch he thinks im aneroxic. but i SOOO AM NOT!!!! whats your prob AA? ugh! just beacuse u are a t'''''', does not mean u have the responsibility to do all these! ugh! i know u ''care'' but please. its a little freaky!! and its weird too. but thanks for the concern. too much is an overdose though.

UUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont feel like talking can not?????? results damn screwed up!!!!!!!!!!! ahhh!!! really feel like killing myself okay??? fuck! and you guys have to rub it in. i know i have to do better. admit this term a bit slack. I WILL WORK HARD!!! got that? whats your freaking problem?????? walau. say that you predicted that i would get these results? fuck! didnt you wish me luck on the exam day? didnt u say i would do well since i work so hard???? ugh!!! fuck! all that shit you have said are erased with the fucking sentence - i knew you would get these results. what is the problem with you? the school's marking scheme is freaking strict. i cant even blog in peace. FYI this post was suppose to be before the very recent one.

suppose to go out today with kell. but mommy said NO! ugh!!! then she said go out tmr. then i changed my mind. dont wanna go out at all. haha. coz i wanna watch tv. oh wells. study chinese until wanna die man!! do do do. aiya. used to it can already. oh wells. the week following the next is the mother tongue Os. GOOD LUCK!!!

its the end of the week already!!!! got so much chinese homework!!! haha. what the hell!! but okay luh. kinda got used to it already. had band performance for the school today!! haha. played heart n voice n sunrise. my FINAL performance already. haix. gonna miss my dears. haha. to think my anthony asked phyll if we could put in the same amt of concentration in hist classes. oh wells. haha. u gotta admit they are very different subject. n hist is not even relaxing. haha. but ya noe? the crowd literally roared when we ended the song. haha. that shows how much we mean to the sch. oh wells. we are important anyway =) i called hani yest n asked if she wanted to go with me together and give jackie a surprise isit on her bdae, like right after the chinese 'o's and guess what? she's going with aini and the rest. apparently that's jackie and hani's current click. so yea. i guess i'll have to go myself or something. oh wells. i guess im just not as close to them as before. accept that fact ger!!! knock it into ur head!! whatever u do. accept it! yea. i have to get that into my head. really miss the times we spent together. st margs just isnt the friendly env i was exposed to in cck. really miss my friends. at least i still have kell. but even then, she has her click n all. but yea. haha. at least she was there when i needed her. oh wells. i really want to go back to the past. i dont even want to transfer school!!! y did i do that in the 1st place? damn kuku brain leh! ugh!

school started again today. it feels like hols now. ahhh!!! next week is x country n the following week is chinese 'o's!! haha. wow!(sarcastic) no comments on my hair. thank god! maybe those pple might be toking about it but i dont even noe. oh wells. i dont care!! haha! anyways. today was a long day during mother tongue. haha. ugh!!! im gonna die man. mother tongue damn long. stupid. but quite okay luh. at least i can eat and lao shi won't say anything. haha debboz!! haha. hope your tummy is feeling better =) ahhh!!! y do i have this thing thing in me when i see whee lynn's blog and see that there is a result thing thing which shows how much her friends know her.the thing thing came whe i saw that joel actually knows her 80%. im not suppose to feel like that!!! IM OVER remember???? ahhh! slap me pls!!!!

its been freaking long since my last entry huh. i have a blog but nobody knows about it. haha. xcept u=) the gap is getting bigger gurl =) he's bloddy crude man. whats up with the ''whatevers'' and ''fuck it then''. ugh. what's up with him. just isnt the same old joel anymore. AIN'T it? haha. i just got my hair cut. look like a tweed man. but too bad to the tweeds out there. i'm not one, and i will never be one. HAHA!! got that? haha. i kinda like the person who did the hair for me. might go back to her again. the exams are finally over. i actually ended on last thurs. i went shopping for four consecutive days!!! haha. woah! hundreds of dollars gone. but still got loads of stuff that i have not got yet. oh wells. oh. n there's this bung who added me on friendster. i dont know for what. but let's just say ive got a new friends. haha. and i went ice skating last sat!! haha. wet my pants. could see my yellow undies. hehs. oopsy=) but after that cannot already. missed the free peep show. haha. ok. im gonna stop that. im getting goose pimples myself. oh. n i didnt know that my top was kinda loose. so my bra was exposed. haha. n that guy who rented us the shoes. man! he was such a pervert can? he literally stood there and stared and even had the cheek to smile. i know im flat. nth to see. but wth! won't you want to slap his face if you were me? haha. carol was kinda pissed with me coz ter went to the place with me. they said she ditched them to come with me. how nicely put, gurls. i don't mean anything. but she's like taking one big round to go with you guys. so yea. get the pt. but i guess it turned out fine after that. and i finally know how to skate. well. sort of. haha. still a bit unstable. oh!! last thing! haha. i cut my hair. haha. its screwed!!

woah! haha. damn long since i've posted an entry =) haha. EXAMS!! ugh!! im going nuts man. wanna sleep now but the stupid ipod charge so slow. ahhh!!! cant wait for it to be over!!! then go hols and go out!!! haha. yes! then i'll start mugging for prelims n the 'o's. till then. i wanna SLEEP!!! haha

it was yest. we played our hearts out. we tot it was just a matter of time the award was given to us. it was a sunrise and not a sunset. it was pouring out hearts and voices. we were soaring. we were moving. we did our best. n we didnt get what we really wanted. we felt it was moing. pple felt it was moving. but it just didnt move the 7 fat pple. if we were the first few bands to perform, it was definitely possible. IJ got what we wanted. n some might be gloating away. but are some genuinely sorry for us. i cried, when the results were announced. everybody did. we wanted it so badly. even vivianna told phyll to put her bag down, just in case we jumped in excitedment. n then, it came. we froze. time just came to a standstill. and we were just glued to our chairs allowing the painful truth to sink in. i know im emoing. but i really feel lile crying now. it was just so hard for the truth to sink in. my section went to hear the results. yea. we hoped for the word to come to our ears first hang - GOLD. n guess what? yea. st margs sec sch, band no.118 SILVER! thanks man. like i really appreaciated the if the brother(st andrews) didnt get it, sister(st margs) sure get. i was really hoping n praying it might even be a gold with honours. it was a Grade 5 piece. to think we even got silver. ugh. what the hell is the judges fucking problem??? MOE actually spent like a 6 digit figure on the 7 of them n they have to save on awarding more bands with the branding the actually deserve??? ugh! what kind of thinking is this? damn shit luh! and mr tan even came today to make sure we were all right. we are like one big family. he said'' i am proud of you all and you are the band closest to my heart'' it really touched me. i told myself not to cry and tears just automatically came flowing out. everybody cried even more. im on the verge of tears now. to just think what the band gone through, and what we got as a result, its really injustice. i mean. yea. maybe many other bands also feel the same way, but we are a GOLD band ya noe? its a huge blow to many. to my darling sec 3s, dont feel bad, i know you guys tried your best. our section played well!! and we will be the best section ever!!! i'll love you guys always!! =)

phyll cried. first time i saw her cry. mr tan seriously dont care about the section luh. we learn everything ourselves can? ugh. i almost cried. haha. but it didnt coem out. phew =) but can tell phyll damn pissed luh. didnt see her so pissed before. oh wells. hu ask CZ cannot play her part. ugh. create so much trouble. n mrs tan, our principal, gave us the day of on mon for the hard work we put in playing the piece. haha. looks like she isnt so bad after all =) anyways, she n mr tan not related hor. haha. my dearest woman, going for SYF too =) GOOD LUCK!! haha. mwah. get Gold with honours too!!!

ok. damn long never blog already. haha. freaking tired now. can doze off anytime. my exam is on the 27th!!! ugh!! stress!! haha. went out with ter today. i was really tired coz we walked from city hall to marina, n back. haha. ate fish n co. ummm. very long never eat there already. so yea. haha. acting really spastic there. n ter cut her hair. haha. today got spot check! haha. she kana. then met bert n the rest at st andrew's cathedral. chang went home with shalini n ter missed her!! haha. coz we walked a little to slow. she's sad. but she'll get over it. haha. on the bus, saw jannah n dashini. yuck man!! can u imagine the two of them together. haha. ewwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =) oops. they are suppose to be my ''besties'' haha. oh wells! haha. n when ter n i were on the bus, xi jin n vanessa quek was there too!! shit. hope they won't think of something they are not suppose to be thinking off. get this into ur head man!! im STRAIGHT!! haha. yea. but was fun luh. n ter is my gurlfren!! haha.

oh man!!i think my name is like getting smeared. even neh is ''watching'' me luh!!!ugh!!! and they are gonna spread rumours or something can? ahhh!!! actually, acting like im with ter is quite fun =) haha. i like to provoke pple =) thats me!! mommy said if miss tay ever comes and find her, can ask her to come and see her! haha. yay!!! IM TER"S GIRLFRIEND!! haha =) oops =)

omg. something happened today. ok. tell you detailed one. =) i was in class n yanli started telling debbie, ''tell geraldine the thing!!!'' n i was like ''what?'' then yanli was like'' geraldine, i know you did something cheeky!!!'' and i was like thinking to myself, ''what cheeky thing did i do?'' and i suddenly thought about yest, when i went back to the band room, i was holding hands with teranna. so yea. was that the cheeky thing. YES it is. at least to them it is. and yea. debbie saw it and told yanli. i mean like okay.... whats wrong with holding hands? its a gurls sch can? ugh. and i asked yanli. ''whats wrong with holding terrana's hand? isnt it the same like holing caroline's and gloria' hand?'' and she was like '' but teranna doent have a ''clean'' record.'' at that pt of time, i was like ''omg. you guys seriously think too much'' yanli told me that i gave pple the impression that teranna and i are together, when the fact is we are jut good friends. ugh!!! what the hell man. how can they think like that. and yea. caroline was the first to know about it. and she was like dont tell teranna, she will be damn depressed. but in the end, she still told me to tell teranna. i did. and teranna LAUGHED!! haha. she seriously burst out in laughter luh. i really felt damn stupid. haha. i should have told her. shit luh. and i only wanted caroline to know. but when i was outside the band room, i was telling caroline something. tell you that something later. phyllis came over, and slowly, bernita and kayla came. damn. phyllis go and tell yanyu and the rest, that's it. DIE!!! anyways, in the band room. teranna pulled me to one corner and told me that actually marion doesnt want bernita to go out on sat. yea. n yanli suddelny hit me on the back. i thought she was playing. so on the way out, i jokingly tell her, ''just now you hit me right, so now, i hit you back'' and guess what she said? she was like ''that's a warning.'' i tell you, at that time, it's like seriously worse than OMG can! think too freaking much already!!! PARANOIA man!!! argh!!!! and when i was like ok fine, i tell you guys everything outside the band room, teranna was outside too. and i really didnt wanna say anything. but could tell she was feeling uneasy. facial expression luh. so on the way down the stircase, i just put my arm through hers and told her it was nothing about her. and when i was down another flight of stairs, SHIT!!! yanli and huiling was behind me all along. argh!!! whats the world coming too!!!! omg!!!! how i wish yanli could just forget about the whole thing!!!!!!!!! im gonna die man!!! pple are gonna start thinking that i like teranna or something. oh shit. I a completely STRAIGHT lor. die HOW????? anyways, i dont really care about what pple think of me luh. i mean im strtaight and not crooked what. they wanna think otherwise then go ahead lor. i dont give a damn!

what the hell luh. arggh. i bloody hell am studying my guts out n someone out there is thinking im not putting in my best. ugh! now, i cant go to the flea market, i dont think im going out with ox this weds. argh! i have no life man!!!!!!! ergh!!! i feel like bursting man!!! gonna score damn good marks and show you im no slacker!!! JUST YOU WAIT N SEE!!!

had flag day today. went with yanyu n jessica. yanyu can be so paranoid at times. but aiya. heck la. her life is not mine anyway. we were at town. n instead of collecting money, we went to mc for brreakfast n topped up $2 in our money bag. then saw phyllis, grace n siyi on the way. gosh. their bags were damn full n thick . haha. they chase pple can. they went after this group of SJI guys. haha. damn funny. n in the end, the still donated. singaporeans are very very stingy can? argh! the angmohs were better at the very least. some of them just ignores you though. haha. they tao me can? dont want to donate then nevermind la. give me that face for what? stupid. then had section meeting after band. yamuna n phyllis scolded the sec 3s. i wont scold them luh. they never really touched my max limit yet. haha. so yea. the two of them are diff. but yamuna was too much luh. she even intruded gloria's affairs can. i mean like so what im she's crooked n so what if terenna cuts herself. she is not even their mother. what spoiling school reputation and all that shit. i mean like after you leave this school, will u even come back? i say all these n n front of her, i am like a girl who also breaks rules n whatever la. hu wants to look stupid. miss wee didnt even say anything about my hair. n yea. i dun wanna pin up then u get into trouble. but that is only if miss wee sees it what. she never see then what. still scold me ar? freraking political man, this band. cant wait to get out!!!! so much homework n no time to rest. ugh. is this even a holiday. oh, n bryan,

please shut your fucking mouth!

band is like everyday form 1 to 5, n i have chinese class from 8.30 to 11.30 in the morning!!!! argh!!! hols is like no hols luh. oh man!!!! n i have SS test on mon. n i have cross country competition in April. so many many things!!!! shit!!! daddy go states already. will be back on the 29th. hope he will get the things that i want =) haha. many many things happened. but i just cant seem to remeber what happened. IJTP came today. didnt noe that jacqueline was a bung. haha. oh n kinny too. not bung but yea. crooked. but anyways, they are still very nice pple. slacked the whole day today. for sectionals. haha. suppose to practice the ensembles but what the heck. haha. we were just playing n slacking n eating. haha.

IJTP, PERC,LOVE U GUYS!!!!

tmr is sports day. wth. just try your best. ugh!!!!! i dont like man. just dont feel like running. AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! went shopping with oxy today. bot a pair of shoes from blossomz. haha. $19.90!!!! damn cheap. haha. from like 30, 40 over. haha. every shop is having a clearance sale. so yea. SALES!!!! saw junk food tops. haha. gonna ask mommy to buy damn for me. dont care. what the hell is wrong with that father of mine? i was just chatting with jieren. ugh! n wth, he doesnt have any test. what test u toking about? he just has a eng draft to complete. n bloody hell, throw some thing at me just because of that. senile man. crazy. uGH!!!! TMR IS SPORTS DAY!!! AHHH!!!! JEAN, OXY.... MAN. STRESS...

yanyu's camera was confiscated because of sandra n oxy. they were taking photos of each other in class n yea. somehow, the innocent party was yanyu n she was pissed at sandra and oxy for causing the confiscation. things were actually okay yest. but today, somehow, yanyu got pissed again with oxy this time. n with sandra too. except that she toked to sandra n the rest but never to oxy. not until the end of today at least. n its like oxy actually got really pissed with yanyu. for one, she did not noe why the hell yanyu was pissed at her n for two, she was confused n frustrated for not knowing why. n she flared up. somehow. everybody kinda was with yanyu all this while n i was like the only person with oxy through the whole thing. i know how is it like to be all alone, not having anyone to talk to or confide in. i just didnt want oxy to feel that way. so yea =) just stayed beside her. n after that phyllis n grace even reprimanded her for not wanting to reflect n think. something like that luh. and oxy kept telling me what friends are these? she was crying. n it made me want to cry too. coz the feeling is really lousy. but dont worry. it didnt flow down. phyllis n grace came to class later on. i told grace not to reprimand oxy anymore coz she was feeling bad n hurt enough. n thanks! i got shouted at by grace. she apologised to me at band later. i really forgot about it but she reminded me. but lets just let bygones be bygones. anyway, i didnt want such unpleasnt memories. jessica came later. n told oxy that it was best that she called yanyu. and yea. she did n they are fine already. haha. feel happy for them. but at the same time, i feel sad too. all along, i feel so isolated ya noe? like although im inside the click, i dont feel a part of it. n i feel like im being treated like a piece of shit. feeling left out and a substitute. argh! its sucky man. y do girls behave like that? cck wasnt like that. they were nicer to me at least. this feeling is lousy. i bring food to class, treat pple nicely n im not even asking all these actions to be reciprocated. i just want to be treated like a friend. is that so difficult? ya noe. more than half of the things going on within the click, im not even aware of it? damn!!! ugh! im always treated like a blur sotong n pple like them actually get frustrated over this. its not my fault that im blur ya noe? i guess oxy will just forget that i even stood by her during this incident. yea. anyway, she's so tall she cant even see me. they just dont give a damn luh. even when oxy was frustrated, she kept saying '' what bloody frineds are they? leave me all alone.'' am i not her friend? i am never going to let my children ifi have any, to go to a single sex school its seriously stupid. petty. jealousy. fucked up people.