ooo... three days never blog. haha. not that long though. many things going on. my dude in actualy in charge of my sec 3 jr in cck!! haha. some ip shit la. dont really care. soem innovative prog. =) aniways, i guess my feelings for joel are maybe just really infatuation. or is it just me? i really don't know. when i was with him in the past, i really felt that i loved him. ok this may sound cheesy but he was the first i could actually bring myself to say like ''i love u''? argh!!! im so confused. we shared sweet, happy n bad times. always at the back of my mind i guess. hard to forget=) haha. anyways, we seldom communicate noe. maybe im a person hu actually needs communication to keep the whole thing going.. so yea.. haha. so far, all the tests are pretty manageable. haha. no stress. just kick butt times!! haha. sometimes i just dont understand myself. esp when it comes to the guy thing thing. i just dont know how i feel. oh wells. we'll just see. thats all i can say for now... till then, we'll see each other next time =)

argh!!!!! the hives...its raining now!!!! effing itchy!!!! but i cannot scratch!!!! my hands and legs look freaking gross la...argh!!!! bryan sucks...big time!!! im down with a cough. so i dont wanna agitate my throat by shouting at him. my rash will get worser too....im controlling myself. to not lose my temper and flare up. my body will suffer. n there he is. trying in instigate a quarrel, trying to irritate me. i'm boiling on the inside n i just cant wait to explode if it wasnt for my sickness. argh!!! i feel like im having a disease. A SKIN DISEASE. which i fucking gross. i couldnt control my temper just now n boomed when he tried to eat the chocolate aunty siew chin gave me. ugh!! wassup0 with him anyway? what's his freaking problem??? always giving an ''all act cute n angelic'' face in front of mommy and even when i did not scold him or anything today, i still get the blame. just because of the same old stupid fact. I AM OLDER!!! get it??? im 4 yeas older = more understanding, wiser, more patient and i MUST give in!!!! aaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhh!!!!!!! its retarded la. i literally get scolded for eveything. almost everything. whether its my fault or not. wth is wrong with u pple? i am a human too ya noe? just because im older does not mean i have to give way to him. just beacuse i am older, it doesnt mean its always my fault be it whether the trouble is caused by him. i am ALWAYS AT FAULT!!!!

It is FUCKING UNFAIR!!!

i've got HIVES!!! any idea what that is??? argh!!! its itchy but i cannot scratch. its gross but i cannot say yuck. ugh!!!! going to bed kinda makes it better but after that, like 5 mis later, they start popping out again!!!! ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont like it!!! =(. please...go away faster!!! there's band auditions this sat. i hope i can make it. mr tan doesnt like me n he can kick me out any time.haix... joel said ''missing me is a torture''. maybe its time things take aturn for the better. after all, i dont think it can last that long.

evelasting love...what does it really mean??

today had like 1 and a half hours of band. today actually like slack la. haha. had mrt. then suppose to go sakae one!!! i got sore throat. can use it as an excuse to pon band. but aiya..haha. im a GOOD girl!! so yea =) haha. didnt go. yanli was like telling the rest not to influence me.haha. just the tot of sushi. my mouth waters!!! ARGH!!! salivating!!! haha. aniways. i might go tmr. to town. buy the roll after the sec1s audition. wonder what will tmr bring =) we'll see!! oh. and tmr is choy's bdae!! HAPPY BDAE choy!! haha. sixteen oredi!!! time to grow up!! haha. n sandra actually sent a get well msg to me. its sweet. haha. didnt expect her to do that. aniways. i think things a re taking a turn for the better =) i hope!!!

argh!!!!!!! BAND!!! dont like!!! today was cca fair..really very funny...papaya used the snare to attract more new recruits...haha..damn funny la!! and that freaking bryan keep on back stabbing me!! argh!! ass!!! aniways...the whole canteen was like in chaos la!! its like the battles of the cca's!! haha!!! i dont feel like toking about it la..but its so diff fom cck!! i prefer cck though!!! its more of a family la!! haha...i just DONT LIKE BAND!!!!

yoyoyo!!! haha. today...hmm...nice weather except for the rainy part. haha..anyways... i went back for band today...had sec 1s audition. haha. it was for the sec 1s who put band as their 1st priority. bernita asked me to help her coz she cannot read notes...haha. oh wells. no harm aniway =) haha. argh!!! bryan is like fucking argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! his bloddy back is already hunched and what the hell la. can he for goodness sake use a bit of brains and try to lighten his bag load??? ugh!!!! sickening no brainer. i tell u, i going NUTS!!!!!!!! he shouts for no reason n tries to act stupid. ugh!!!! freaking stupid la. argh!!!!! cannot take it! joel sent an instant message saying he misses m very much. haha. yea. kinda miss toking to him too =) haha..shh...my secret =) haha. oh. n i just watched high school musical. haha. damn nice!!! troy is like...omg!!!! cute!! haha

hey hey!! the day is over. haha. daddy got me a new table. an uncle came to take his fishes away. dunno ho wla. i think auntie grasie tok to him untill he decided to come to our hse to take daddy's fish. he spent like $50 on it. haiyo. heart pain... haha. now instead of 5 fish tanks, oni have 2. boos... but he put the table there. where the fish tanks used to be. haha. right in front of the window.. really nice wind today...haha. it caresses my face...ahhh!!! what a nice feeling...haha. and the table is white!!! haha.

oooo......had band today!! haha. it was erm..i dunno what words can de it describe.haha. definitely not a very good band prac today though. haha!! the 'm's nagged..gosh. was like falling asleep when miss tay was nagging and all...haiyo. its not that i dont care but all these scolding n nagging has just numbed me i guess. haha. JANNAH!!! omg. she's seriously getting on my nerves...ugh!!! phyllis was like addressing the band n she just butt in. for like what??? to scold the band because she has a higher authority. but what the heck la. nobody cares about her. haha. carol, ter n gloria was like so pissed with her can??? haha. i guess the perc section. MY section is the most most bonded section in the band. its always like that. even in cck. haha. so yea. never regretted being in this section. there's no senior and junior but more of FRIENDS AND FAMILY!! haha. oh wells!! and miss tay was like asking bernita and yamuna how did the section become so bonded and if they could actually bring that out to the band. but i just guess its a little impossible. haha. no way man. its just. aiya. rather, i would say, difficult to accomplish. haha!! perc rocks!! haha. melvin came over today. we toked from school to how to protect myself. haha. i guess he kinda opened a new perspective to daddy. i hope daddy see's a new p.o.v now that someone has actually opened it to him. haha. anyway. it was really fun talking. haha.